Living as Light
I just wanted to update y’all with how I’m doing and share one thing I’m learning. Since the University of Bologna has 100,000 students, I’m absolutely burdened when I go to class and know that because <1% of Bologna is evangelical Christian, the chance that any of my peers here have heard about Christ’s saving grace is very minimal. Although it makes me sad, I am driven to develop friendships just the same as I would back at home, and the Lord has given me so much favor and fun through this!
The first month here I was absolutely drained every single day. I was adjusting to so many cultural changes, and I either have the option to do everything while talking in Italian, or not talking at all- so I was failing, I became frustrated, I had no confidence, and I had become shy (what???). Yet, the most difficult part about my first months was that I went from being well-plugged into a community of believers who were also my best friends, to being isolated in a lost city. It was not until I got here until I realized how impactful community has been in my life back at UNC, it encourages me, it fuels me, it helps me see Christ; I took that for granted.
However, I also realized I have been depending on the body as a way to meet with Christ- I was not believing the gospel, that Christ reconciled me to have a personal relationship with God- me, intimately, and directly with Him. So while I struggled here and I wanted to run to my dgroup leader, or live life with other believers at my side, I felt convicted that I’ve never really had to fight for my relationship with Christ. To be my own accountability, to really pant for the feast, to absolutely feel agitated unless I get in the word: not for God’s sake, but for my own, because I desperately need to be transformed. I’m learning that God solely wants me to be chasing after HIM. Even though my ministry here is different and difficult, my dependency on the Lord and thus my joy has increased because I’m having to seek grace, and find life from the true source, the fountain of living water.
In celebration, I also want to share that in grace, God has provided me with miraculous community. It doesn’t make sense that in such a lost city, I learn from gospel-centered sermons on Sunday at a church I feel so welcomed at, I spend Wednesday nights at a Studia della Bibbia (small group- the only one I know to exist for Italian University students in town!?), and am discipled by a BOSS of a missionary on Fridays (and also doing real life on life in the most fun, Italian ways!).
I fail here everyday in the language, like when I asked my roommates “posso provarlo con pene?” instead of “penne”, like the pasta, but also fail in my relationship with God. At the same time, I know I am in desperate need of the gospel, and I crave it. And I think that is a good place to be.